


Inescapable

by FenHarelMaGhilana (WhitethornWolf)



Series: Fortune Favour Me [11]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-17
Updated: 2013-01-17
Packaged: 2017-11-25 20:35:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/642710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhitethornWolf/pseuds/FenHarelMaGhilana





	Inescapable

The ability to adapt to her situation had served her very well in the past year. One could call it a coping mechanism, but it was more than that - Eilin simply knew that her survival depended on flexibility of several kinds, and above all things she wanted to survive.

In just a few moments, Riordan had turned that upside down.

She and Alistair had listened in silence, and she was almost unsurprised when he told them how to kill an archdemon. Then with one reply, her fate was sealed.

"What did you say?"

Alistair looked bewildered; she would have felt sorry for him if she wasn't focused on keeping her composure.

"You needn't be in such a hurry to sacrifice your life," Riordan replied. "I am the senior Grey Warden. If possible, it should fall to me to make that final blow."

But the idea had already settled itself in Eilin's mind, so she ignored the hope his assurance brought her.

"But if you don't," she said steadily. "If you can't - then -"

Riordan nodded, his face set in a grim expression.

"Eilin ...what..." Alistair looked back and forth between them. Eilin couldn't meet his eyes; his dawning realisation hurt to see.

"You should get some sleep," Riordan said. Perhaps he sensed the forthcoming outburst, or maybe he noticed the way Eilin drew into herself.

She could feel Alistair's eyes on the back of her head as they left the room, but she kept walking until he stopped her with a gentle hand on her arm. He stepped back, startled when she jerked.

"Sorry. I just - I want to talk to you."

"There's nothing to talk about," she said softly.

"There is," Alistair insisted, and he turned her to face him. "Please just let me - you said you would kill the archdemon, even after what Riordan said. Did I hear you right? Tell me I misheard you."

"Someone's got to do it." She scrubbed her face with her sleeve, blinking wearily, and shook her head. "I need to sleep. We're supposed to be up before dawn."

"I don't understand," Alistair said in an undertone. "Why would you do this? I thought we were going to be - you said you would - "

"You are the king," she replied, wearily. "I'm a Grey Warden. This is how it has to be."

" _No!_ " he said furiously. "You always say that. I don't care if the Landsmeet made me king - you think I'd honestly - that I would stand by and -"

"It's not a matter of you letting me," Eilin said sharply. "If I have to die to end this cursed Blight, then that's what I have to do. You knew it could have happened any time, why are you getting upset about it now?"

"Eilin - "

"Alistair, please! Just drop it!"

His face fell. Eilin closed her eyes, took a shuddering breath, and tried to compose herself as best she could.

"I need to think," she said, and turned away.

"Wait - " Alistair made to grab her hand, but she wrenched it out of his grip.

" _Don't!_ "

She fled the hallway and went out onto the balcony overlooking the back of the castle. The air smelled of smoke and rain, and the wind cut right through her tunic, raising gooseflesh on her arms. She didn't care. She lifted her face to the sky and closed her eyes, and wondered how it would feel to die.

"Lady Cousland?"

Her overwrought nerves got the better of her and she jerked, even as she recognised the voice.

Teagan quickly moved into the light, holding up a hand in a gesture of reassurance.

"I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's alright," Eilin said and turned back to the view.

"I passed Alistair in the hall," Teagan continued. He leaned against the balcony next to her and stared at the village below, swathed in darkness broken only by the fires lit by the night's watch. "He seemed... unhappy. Is everything alright?"

She should have reassured him with a lie, or avoided the question entirely. It was easy enough to convince someone who already believed in you. Instead, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"How high a price is too high to pay to end the Blight?" She asked after a long silence. "Would there be any sacrifice too great?"

Teagan glanced at her suspiciously, but replied, "None, of course. If we don't take back Denerim, the entire country will soon fall."

"That's what I thought," Eilin said, as steadily as she could manage. "Thank you."

Teagan's gaze raked over her one more time. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Oh, yes." Eilin turned away to hide the twist of her mouth, and made for the door. "I'm just tired."

She paused at the door to Alistair's room, but her courage failed her before she could open it.

There was nothing to say. It seemed pointless to placate him with reassurances. If she weren't so determined to put on a brave face, she would be asking for a few herself.

 _He'll be alright_ , she told herself. _He will find a queen to rule beside him, and in time he will forget me._ Though her gut twisted with grief, she left the door untouched.

She knew someone was in her room before she even entered. The door was ajar, a shadow moving across the floor, and she was unarmed.

Eilin swept open the door with her foot, frowning at the sight of the familiar silhouette.

"Morrigan," she said, her voice cracking in surprise. "Is everything alright?"


End file.
